It has come to my attention recently that there is entirely too much stress in my life, and that it's mostly my own damn fault for putting it there. So, as an excercise in stress management, here is a list of things that piss me off;

- Men with bad haircuts. This pisses me off on a daily basis-why do grown men feel that they can walk around with long, greasy, untamed hair, or, worse, military men who let their hair grow up and out, outside of regulations.

- The dress-shirt and jeans fad. A dress shirt, to me, can only be worn one way-tucked the fuck in to the trousers. Letting your shit hang out is slovenly and makes you look like a Goddamn idiot.

- Flip flops. You wear them on the beach, Around the house. Or in the shower. You do not, under any circumstances, wear them outside, running errands, or to your job. Esepcially if your job is waiting tables. What the fuck?

- Adults who cannot bring themselves to shave in the morning. You look like trash. Fix yourselves.

- Driving without signalling/driving on the phone. You all can go to hell. Now. You'll get there faster if you hang up.

- People with dependents who spend money on frivolous material goods vice saving and investing wisely. You bastards owe your families first, then yourselves. Rims and speakerboxes will not keep your children in diapers. Nor will they pay the rent.

- Overweight females who dress "sexy." It's not sexy. It's fucking gross. Go reclaim your dignity.

- Anyone with dental ornamention. If God or the dentist didn't put it there, it don't belong there. Get it the fuck our of your mouth. I can't understand what you say.

- Anyone who constantly asks to borrow small amounts of money. Especially immediately after payday. You got paid. Get off your ass and go get some cash. Or just save it. But don't ask me for my money.

- People who constantly insert themselves into your conversations, even though they have no fucking clue what the conversation is about. This also applies to you sons of bitches who keep trying to start coinversations by spitting the same line out every three seconds. It's fucking annoying. If I want to talk to you, I'll come talk to you. Wait until I do. Don't jump the fucking gun.

- Anyone who uses payday loans. You deserve to get fucked up and pay far, far out the ass for your mistakes. And don't tell me about them. Keep them to yourself.

- People who can't get to work on time. Ever. Stop making excuses, go to bed earlier, and wake up earlier. It's not hard, jackasses.

- Sailors, soldiers, Marines, Airmen who wear uniforms that are too large or too small. You don't look cool-you're a Goddamn fire hazard. And you look fucking retarded.

- Anyone who goes out drinking on a weeknight. What the hell? Friday will come. It has always come, and it will continue to come. Just sit tight, dammit.

- People who wear do-rags in public. Go inside. And stay there.

- People who work in industrial settings, but refuse to take off their fancy watches. I hope your whole hand gets took off by a big ass machine.

- Anyone who refuses to do a job which they volunteered for. Rest assured, I will kick your ass. Just let me find you.

- Anyone who considers themselves a gangster, but is in fact NOT a gangster. In fact, anyone who tries to be something they ain't. You suck at life. Quit wasting your time and energy trying to convince me. Got fix yourselves.

-Desk clerks, cashiers, waiters, and bartenders who refuse to get ogff the phone while serving me. IT CAN FUCKING WAIT.

- Anybody with a large-ass truck that never gets used for chores or hauling. You are wasting precious fuel and steel, and you should be shot dead.

- Guys with riding lawnmowers and really small lawns. Go die, you bastards.

- Anyone in really baggy pants. Die.

-People who wait until the last minute to take care of vital business. You are all fucking yourselves, and should not be allowed to complain in any way, shape or form. Nor should you be granted any leniency. You should be hung. In public. Along with everyone else on this list.

- Anyone who claims that soccer and swimming are not sports. You can't play soccer. Nor can you swim. So you are not qualified to pass judgement.

- College kids with Che Guevara t-shirts or pro-Communist logos. You motherfuckers have no idea how destructive and evil Communism is. You should be shipped off to some bombed-out Eastern European nation, to experience first-hand the fallout of the Soviet collapse and reverberations that are still felt there. Or China. China sucks right now.

That's part of the list. There's more, but I should stop.